If the Shoe Doesn't Fit...

This election was a morally destructive wrestling that has dominated my thoughts for the past few months, and the after effects will continue to do so. I know the moral-guilt and repercussions of trying to decipher the lesser of two evils will haunt me for a long time. I'm physically sick of feeling jumpy and defensive by people's interrogations with a fear of their assumptions of me and my intelligence if I "reveal" who I voted for (which was a complete right to privacy before social media), which is the sad reality of this election and much of today's technological "spreading of awareness." It is tearing apart families, friendships, and ultimately, our nation. But the fact is,

we're all in this sticky situation together.

I love those who voted for Hillary, I love those who voted for Trump, I love those who voted for a 3rd party candidate and I love those who didn't vote at all. I quite seriously considered all four options. With this said, I realized that regardless of who I voted for, if I hate Hillary and her supporters, I'm propelling myself into the same snakiness and dishonesty that I think she is. I realized that if I hate Trump and his supporters, I'm letting the same discrimination and dirtiness that sickens me, win. Liking someone is a feeling, but choosing to love is a choice, and that choice can be made synonymously while continuing to fight for what you believe.

By no means am I the poster-child of how to be, my ideas are still, and will forever be, under construction, and I could be wrong about all of this. But what I have realized is that it's silly to make assumptions about a person until stepping into their shoes, the problem (and beauty) being that each of our feet is incredibly unique. It is impossible to perfectly fit into someone else's shoes as we, whether we like it or not, are effected by our economic background, childhood, ethnicity, education, financial stability, religious belief, physical location, biological make-up, gender, sexual orientation, environment... the list is astronomical. Endorse someone else's shoes, dislike someone else's shoes, but the fact is that they are all shoes with a purpose to be worn by feet; the common thread of humanity living and walking on the same ground. We will need to make a strong, proactive effort to offer arch support to each other to be able to stand in the times to come. But I'm thankful that our ideas are not uniform, because my world is continuously being shaken, which spearheads my growth and discovery when I choose to listen to what different shoes have to say.

Media is biased. Articles are biased. Many statistics are biased. This post is biased. I'm biased. Every single person has some kind of bias engrained into them, and I think it's important to critically, yet kindly judge those biases in order to learn from them. But I think the real issue at hand is how we choose to deal with our biases, accepting the fact that we are biased and the intention behind how and why we communicate our ideas. And when we can listen to and understand each other's biases, that's a beautiful thing, a uniting factor between souls, and there's a strength in that unity with a growth and wisdom of agreeing to disagree after truly listening to each other.

Politics and standing firm in what you believe and understanding why you believe it is wildly, radically important. But in addition:

My Dear Wormwood,

Be sure that the patient remains completely fixated on politics. Arguments, political gossip, and obsessing on the faults of people they have never met serves as an excellent distraction from advancing in personal virtue, character, and the things the patient can control. Make sure to keep the patient in a constant state of angst, frustration, and general disdain towards the rest of the human race in order to avoid any kind of charity or inner peace from further developing. Ensure the patient continues to believe that the problem is "out there" in the "broken system" rather than recognizing there is a problem with himself.

Keep up the good work,

Uncle Screwtape.

"Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis ~ 1942 

The United States of America need some damn listening skills, damn good intention and divine intervention alongside individual, driven love and development.

That's my personal prayer and plan of action from here.

Life Matters (This Is Not a Political Post)

Being a parcel of humanity amidst nearly 3,000 flags is a sobering thing. Even without knowing the meaning behind them, when the only sounds are your own breath and the flags' flapping, something is stirred in you that makes you stop and realize that you are very small.

   "Hello." I turned over my shoulder, a bit miffed that someone would interrupt my sobering experience. He was a man with vivid dark hair and complex eyes that had seen a lot of life.
   "Hi." I responded in the friendliest tone I could assemble while trying to retain some of the somberness of the moment.
   "What do these flags mean?" I started to answer, and paused. I looked at him standing in front of me naively anticipating my response, and I knew that the moment I told him the flags' meaning his experience would change. I held power over this situation, and that was a strange feeling.
   "Each flag stands for a life lost at 9/11." I waited for his reaction. He looked down, expressionless.
   "Oh...wow." The silence was filled with the sound of the flags. "I buried my brother that day." My senses froze as all else fell away. "I was lowering him into the ground when those towers fell."

It felt like my throat had been stung by a million bees.

I evoked a very unauthentic sounding "I'm so sorry" as I knew nothing I could say would alleviate or be able to relate to what he had been through. Another few moments passed with the fluttering flags. "Would you like a popsicle?" I asked. He nodded. I ran down the hill to grab one of the melty pineapple popsicles in my car from my market trip. When I returned, we ate our popsicles in the 105 degree sun and talked about life and how pineapple was both of our favorite flavor. His name is Raymond, and I remember that because after a few times of trying to remember it he reintroduced himself as, "Everybody loves...?"

Raymond will never know the impact he had on me.

After that day, my thinking expanded to realize the flags' deeper meaning. Those flags are an absolutely beautiful thing that Pepperdine does to honor the lives lost in 9/11, and by no means am I undermining it. But Raymond made me realize that there were many other tragedies that day. There was probably a mother holding her still-born, a widowing drunk driving collusion, a heart attack leaving grandchildren with mere memories of their grandpa, and Raymond's brother was lowered into the earth. We are desensitized to the fact that every siren could be someone else's life-altering event.

The Matthew 10:11 verse of "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? But not one of them will fall to the ground outside of your Father's care" took a new meaning to me as well. It made me truly realize that life matters.

Gun violence has taken over 3,000 in Chicago just in 2015, so far there has been a 78% increase of police officers shot and killed this year, 194 African Americans have been shot by police just this year, 6,000 killed in interracial violence in 2015, 2,150 Americans die each day from cardiovascular disease (that's one every 40 seconds), 589,430 people died of cancer in 2015, and at least 212 homeless people died just last year. These few stats are barely scratching the surface of deaths in America, and they're not even mentioning the tragedies in other countries. Forgive me if these statistics are off, but even just one unjust or premature death is one too many for me.

Black Lives Matter, All Lives Matter, Gay Rights, Women's Rights... There are so many movements vouching for their place in humanity, and rightfully so. Humanity is twisted, and I don't think I'll ever be able to wrap my mind around the discrimination that some have suffered. But the interwoven thing I've noticed throughout them all is that they allude to individual lives. When you look up lives in the dictionary, it just redirects you to the root word: life. Although life may be seen as an individual right (my life), grammatically, the word is the same when the adjective is plural (our life), and I don't think grammar has made an accident.

Souls are individual, and I believe all souls are just tapping into the shared existence of life, like many people drinking from the same river. Violence is high, health problems rampant and there are countless claims to the answer: Republican, Democrat, politics, religion, medicine. I don't know the answer, and as all these "answers" are formed in a minuscule, limited, decaying human perspective, I don't think I'll ever know the answer. But I know what is important. Souls are important. Life is important. And according to God (the all-knowing, life-breathing entity that is so much bigger than us), even the life of a sparrow worth less than a penny matters.

I don't know the right political action to take. I don't know if there is one answer. Maybe there is. But I know what I need to do: "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:13-16, but you should go read the whole thing, really)." I need to mourn with the souls mourning. However different they or their situation is from mine, whether I can relate to their pain or not, whatever depth or size of their suffering, my heart will break with theirs. I will mourn with our Nation, I will mourn with 9/11, I will mourn with those different than me, and I will mourn with Raymond on a grassy hill while we eat pineapple popsicles in the silence of the flags.

An Open Letter to the Pepperdine Convocation Office

To Whom It May Concern,

My name is Ashley Ekstrum, and I am a concerned student. Let me tell you why:

I am an avid attender at Surf Chapel. I have been for two years now. And I can tell you that (although surf chapel can stand alone as one of the best convos in Pepperdine's convocation history), the smell of hot coffee at 7am on the beach makes the world of difference. I will list the reasons to continue providing hot beverages for the weary students of this mid week congregation:

1. Hot beverages make money. Providing free coffee inspires students to get up early on their day off, which makes them more productive, thus raising their grades, thus giving Pepperdine a better overall grade average, which makes it a more revered and competitive college. This will encourage more students to apply to and attend Pepperdine, thus the university will grow, which will provide the university with a higher income.

2. Hot beverages are good for the environment. When free hot beverages are provided at Surf Chapel, students are encouraged to come to the beach to get free coffee, thus they see how beautiful the ocean is. When they see how beautiful the ocean is, they are inspired to protect it. When enough students are inspired to protect it, you are raising a generation that will reverse global warming and bring back more natural resources.

3. Hot beverages save lives. When students ingest hot coffee so early in the morning it reminds them that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. When students eat breakfast, it physiologically provides their body with the energy it needs to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Without maintaining a healthy lifestyle, people die.

I will now list the reasons to stop providing hot beverages for Surf Chapel:

As you can see, there are none.

The only argument I have heard to discontinue providing hot beverages to encourage students to wake up early on a day they do not have class in order to learn about God and pursue fellowship in a small group environment is that the weather is getting "warmer." May I remind you that Surf Chapel is at 7am. On a typical, warm Malibu day between 75 and 85 degrees, the low is approximately 55 to 65 degrees, and the temperature low of the day has consistently proven to be in the morning. 

I do hope you can find it in your heart to provide Pepperdine a higher income, protect the environment, and save lives.

Sincerely,

Ashley Ekstrum